The Best of Intentions
Intentions are complex things. One maxim tells us the road to hell is paved with good intentions. There appears to be a pattern where behind destructive behaviours can sit good intentions.
I am sure you have encountered this. You may find yourself explaining to someone how they have hurt or wronged you. Perhaps their response is something like – but my intentions were good, so you should not be offended or upset with me.
St Augustine (354 – 430 AD), thinking of his own struggles, reflects on this dilemma in his book Confessions. He notes that if his mind tells his hand to move, it does so – automatically. It happens so fast, so unconsciously, that we cannot distinguish between the directive of the mind and the response of the hand.
But when the mind tells the mind to do something, it is a different matter. I can tell my mind – do not dwell on this, instead think about this. But my mind does not fully obey! Why is it when why mind directs my hand it is automatic, but when the same mind directs my mind, the outcome is uncertain?
Augustine’s answer is that the command to the hand comes from our full will, but the command to our mind does not. We tell ourselves we are committed to more exercise, less food, or eradicating lust, but the results suggest we are not. We are divided.
Here Augustine sounds like Paul in Romans 7. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do… it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is a sin living in me.”
This is what scares me. I know what it feels like to tell my hand to move. To me, when I tell my mind to do something, I believe I am 100% willfully committed. I believe my best intentions are pure. I am not conscious of my divided self and mixed motives.
Sinful nature is deeper and more complex than we assume. With Paul - What a wretched man I am!
By Rev. David Rietveld